Heart and Womb now hollow
once filled with new life and deapest love
ache with sorrow
these arms carry no bundles of blessings
a face not traced by tiny fingers but tears
every outing a constant reminder of what was taken
Lullabies are forsaken
"A tiny flower,lent not given,to bud on Earth and bloom in Heaven."
God doesn't give you more than you can carry...So they say.Its over two years later and it still hurts. Most days I can accept my fate and know there is another plan for me. Unfortunately for myself, I watched my sister put my niece to sleep,for the hundredth time, and the straw broke the camels back. Watching Cailyn hold Cathi's face and pat it, I felt it.
The tiny fingers and hands held my face, barely perceptible,but there nonetheless. My baby who rarely visits my dreams any more,had come to hold me in one of the darkest moments I've felt since I got my mental strength back.
Call me crazy,I don't give a damn. I felt them.The fragile hands made in heaven had dained to visit me.
His due date was October 27th,2011.Today is August 16th,2013. Writing this has helped.I do believe I shall read my book now and pretend I'm fine.
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